Monday, 6 January 2014

Lesson 10: Keep up with the times!

My updated outfit for a girls' night.  Simple, but still current.  Goodbye yoga gear!

Happy New Year!  What are we up to now?  Ah yes,  2014.  It takes a while for my brain to register the numerical change.  The first few months of the year are the trickiest.   I end up goofing the dates on my checks and letters until at least Valentine's Day.  (Yes, I still write checks and letters.  I'm old school that way.)

It's been hard keeping track of real time ever since my eldest was born.  Sure, I can count the number of seconds it takes to zap leftovers for dinner, calculate the few minutes of alone time I get in a day, or the hours I don't sleep each night.  But when it comes to actually realizing what decade I'm in, I'm sometimes clueless.  Lately, I feel like I've just woken up from a seven-year bender  and I can't/don't want to remember most of what has happened.  As is the case with any hangover,  I need copious amounts of coffee, Advil and a good friend to piece together the events leading to my demise.    

Being a mom has meant living in an isolated bubble where time is irrelevant.   Your life is put on hold while you take care of other mini humans.  My life got crazy-busy but time kept ticking.  Before I knew it, seven years of my life had disappeared.  Here's what I've managed to recall using scrapbooks, iPhone photos and stories from friends:

January 16, 2007:  Snowstorm.  Contractions.  Lost mucus plug.  Hospital.  Baby in arms, not womb.  That's my last vivid memory of my pre-mom self.  That's when the clock stopped, and my life, my hobbies, my job, my thoughts took a backseat.

January 2007 to June 2007:  No sleep.  Baby crying.  Mom crying.  Baby eating.  Mom not eating.

June 2007 to October 2009:  New house.  No sleeping for anyone.  Baby turns into toddler. Toddler takes eight months to potty train.  Mom forgets how hard having a baby is.  Mom gets pregnant again.

November 2009 to January 2010:  Mom has baby number two.  C-section gone wrong.  Infection. Long recovery.  Toddler not sleeping.  Baby not sleeping.  Mom and dad definitely not sleeping.

February 2010 to Present:  Several birthday parties involving Lego and superheroes.  Some road trips.  A family vacation.   First day of pre-school.  First day of school.  Some recitals. Swimming, karate and hockey lessons.  Husband lost hair.  Mom's hair went from brown to blonde to red to brown.  Mom lost weight, but it seems to be finding its way back.  Life gets a little quieter with kids being older now.  Mom feels lost.

Now that the kids are school-aged and less dependent, I have emerged from the bubble and feel a little passé.  I am left wearing the same old sweats, following the same old routine, eating the same old foods, thinking the same old thoughts.  The real world has moved on. It's fast paced and I've missed a lot.  People are talking differently, dressing differently and using awesome technology, among other things. 

Trying to keep up with all these changes after being oblivious to them for so long can be a challenge.  I think I've got the fashion thing down.  I Pinterest fashion ideas and then try to recreate them via the magic of Internet shopping.  I'm no Kim Kardashian but at least I've moved on from yoga pants and sweats.  I've learned to binge watch TV series.  It's actually helped save my marriage.  You can't argue about money and chores while your crapping your pants watching Daryl Dixon beheading zombies.  (Thanks Netflix!)  I've been trying to tweet but still don't have the hang of it.  Maybe I should take more selfies?  My head says "yes" but my double chin says "no".

My point is, there's a whole new world I need to discover.  I don't want to become a frumpy, old fashioned mom.   I don't ever want my boys to be embarrassed to be seen with me.  If nothing else, I want them to feel they can confide in me and ask me for advice.  I think they'll be more comfortable talking to me if I can understand how things work in the modern world.

So, no more sheltered life for me.  I'm going to embrace all that's out there from now on.  I vow to wear the right cut of jeans.  I will join at least three forms of social media.  I will learn the urban dictionary, or at least refer to it occasionally.  It will be epic or exhausting. I can't decide. Perhaps I should just start with getting the date right.