tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-75777998418361844822024-03-14T00:36:58.813-07:00HIDE! THE KIDS ARE COMING! (LESSONS FOR THE MODERN MOM)Valentinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08782207620605649691noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7577799841836184482.post-49765284000933009142018-10-23T09:17:00.001-07:002018-10-23T09:40:37.526-07:00Lesson 21: I hate styling the pixie while growing it out<br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "times"; font-size: 13.5pt;">I've been grudgingly living with an accidental
pixie cut for the last two months and have come to the conclusion that I have
absolutely no idea how to make it look cool. On most days, my hair looks decent
at best. On bad hair days, I look like my grandma. When I look in the mirror, I
beg the hair gods to make it grow faster. I don't think it's working.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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I was warned about the inevitable mullet phase but didn't believe it could
happen to me. Denial is part of the growing-out process, I guess, because here
I am sporting that dreaded 80s longer-in-the-back 'do. It is the elephant in
the room; my inner circle knows better than to point it out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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I've considered going in to have it cut off, but I cancel the appointment each
time the date nears. At this point, cutting off any growth seems
counterintuitive to me. I NEED that length for my sanity, no matter how ugly it
looks.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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So, I've experimented with a few products and hair tools to disguise the fact
that my cut is a hot mess right now:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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1. Tying up all the front and top shorter layers then using a straight iron to
add body is definitely my go-to look. For some reason, my hair seems longer
this way. Bobby pins or tiny clear hair ties are key.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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2. Adding a few messy curls helps blend uneven layers. I had to switch to a 3/4
inch wand because the 1 inch was just too big for my short layers.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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3. Headbands, bandanas or hair wraps work when pressed for time. It's not
the cutest look but it's great to hide third-day hair or uncooperative hair.
And they usually disguise the mullet!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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4. Spray wax adds touchable texture and is better than hairspray or gel when creating
a sophisticated slicked back look <span style="background: white;">à la</span> Scarlett
Johansson.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 9.5pt;">My
attempt at a sophisticated look in my not-so-sophisticated bathroom. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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When all else fails, makeup works wonders to distract from my hair! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Feel free to subscribe to my blog for more updates on the grow-out process. Or,
leave any questions or tips in the comment section.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Valentinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08782207620605649691noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7577799841836184482.post-43425182310760622312018-10-12T09:40:00.003-07:002018-10-23T09:24:25.537-07:00Lesson 20: There’s a fine line between a pixie cut and “mom” hair<h4>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">No woman goes to the beauty salon asking for "mom" hair; it just sort of happens.</span></h4>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i><b>Six weeks ago. . .</b></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I</span><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">t felt like a bad dream. I watched my stylist's blade get stuck in my freshly highlighted blonde bob. He tugged at his blunt razor, and off came a long lock of my hair. I watched it gently fall to the floor before noticing a short, uneven half-fringe above my left eye where the hair used to be just seconds before. I held my breath and locked eyes with my stylist. I silently hoped this was part of his plan–a first step toward some awesomely cool, new haircut he had in mind. But this was clearly an accident.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">He looked just as panicked as I did. He awkwardly, but quickly, moved toward the back of my head and tried his luck again with the dull blade. I should have stopped him but was frozen in disbelief. He worked swiftly as his hands shook (hoping I wouldn't noticed he was cutting way too much off) as he desperately tried to even out the back to match the accidentally choppy front. Long wisps of golden hair piled up at the base of my chair as I held back tears and resisted the urge to throw up.</span></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">First haircut. What is this supposed to be?</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-v-kwCHi2of8/W8DKp3MYyfI/AAAAAAAAAf4/pDZ_SJLFGAkQdWdCezIO54J3FmWQAzFDwCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_8174.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="200" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-v-kwCHi2of8/W8DKp3MYyfI/AAAAAAAAAf4/pDZ_SJLFGAkQdWdCezIO54J3FmWQAzFDwCLcBGAs/s200/IMG_8174.JPG" width="150" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Trying to blend the short fringe.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">"This can't be happening," I thought to myself. Just a few minutes later, he gave up and announced he was done with my cut–what could best be described as a cross between a pixie and a Justin Bieber bowl cut, better known as mom hair. GASP! Noting my quiet dissatisfaction, my stylist curled a few strands to mask the imperfections. I hurriedly payed and ran for cover in my car where I snapped 360 degree head shots to assess the damage.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">I tried to learn to love it. But it was so uneven and unmanageable that I had to get it cut . . . again . . . to get a better shape. (Obviously not by the same person!) I was hoping for a style I could feel good about. That's when I officially and unwillingly entered pixie territory a few weeks later. I hated it! </span><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">"It's just hair. It'll grow back," I kept repeating every morning while taming wild cowlicks.</span></span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-PUnGs48HObg/W8DKp6Z_dtI/AAAAAAAAAf8/dN-3CltYbAABaDvslRLfOE4SJBwNW5mDACLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_8198.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="200" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-PUnGs48HObg/W8DKp6Z_dtI/AAAAAAAAAf8/dN-3CltYbAABaDvslRLfOE4SJBwNW5mDACLcBGAs/s200/IMG_8198.JPG" width="150" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Second cut. More manageable.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">But who knew growing out a pixie would be so hard and take so long? Apparently, nearly every woman on social media. A quick search with keywords "growing out a pixie" led me to hundreds of hair tutorials explaining the arduous grow-out phase that can last an entire year. NOOOOOOOO!</span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-j0sVl6xAOBo/W8DKqymlY5I/AAAAAAAAAgE/zpHnCA5r4_8q-3R0eI46XlCBY7_h3cERQCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_8208.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="200" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-j0sVl6xAOBo/W8DKqymlY5I/AAAAAAAAAgE/zpHnCA5r4_8q-3R0eI46XlCBY7_h3cERQCLcBGAs/s200/IMG_8208.JPG" width="150" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Still too short. I want my bob back!</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Needless to say, I've become a little obsessed with my hair fail. It's been my favourite topic for weeks now, and my husband and friends are getting a little tired of my rants. So, I've decided to document my hair journey, mostly for therapeutic reasons, on my blog. Who knows? Maybe I'll give some other gal in my shoes hope as she patiently waits for her locks to lengthen.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Along the way, I'll share tips and tricks for styling the many awkward stages and the pros and cons of each phase. I'd also love to hear from anyone who is growing out their pixie! I need all the advice and support I can get. I'd be happy to answer any questions about the whole process.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">In my next post, I'll talk about the inevitable mullet phase. Embrace it? Or chop it off?</span></span><br />
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<br />Valentinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08782207620605649691noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7577799841836184482.post-72638767553328082992015-08-02T20:14:00.002-07:002018-06-14T05:49:00.305-07:00Lesson 19: Even a little change is goodIt's easy to get stuck in a routine. I think that's especially true when you are raising kids. <br />
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We are all guilty of cycling and recycling the same handful of meals for dinner. Who hasn't had days, weeks or even months of rocking a messy bun because it was faster to do than a full blowout? Even those date nights with our partner can fall into a monotonous lull; snuggly movie night on the couch loses its appeal when it happens week after week. I often get bored of hearing my own voice bark the same phrases to my kids daily:<br />
<br />
Close the door. <br />
Flush the toilet.<br />
No, you can't have another lollipop. <br />
That's enough Minecraft for today. <br />
Don't hit your brother.<br />
Yes, you have to wear underwear.<br />
<br />
Family life, especially in the burbs, is conducive to routine. <br />
<br />
The last year was hard and boring all at the same time. I wanted to shake things up just a little; I was starting to feel like the wife in <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Revolutionary_Road" target="_blank">Richard Yates' <i>Revolutionary Road </i></a>(minus the desire to bleed to death in my living room). I needed to feel less robotic and I needed to get my endorphin levels back up. Coffee could have done the trick but my five daily Nespresso capsules were costing me a pretty penny. <br />
<br />
What I did was far from mind blowing or dramatic. There was no skydiving or repelling from a rock face mountain. I didn't trek through Europe. I didn't go back to school. I didn't have an affair. <br />
Instead, I did a bunch of stuff I had put aside for years. I went to watch movies alone. I started reading again. I returned to freelance writing. I got spa treatments. I took time to eat my breakfast in the morning while gazing out the window. I allowed myself to nap when I felt tired. My husband and I agreed to make time for monthly dates. I tried new restaurants. My favourite treat was buying bright lipsticks at the pharmacy. I am usually a lip balm girl but decided life is too short for a colourless pout!<br />
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As ridiculous and trivial as some of these things may sound, they make me happy. They get me through the inevitable hardships in life. And trust me, there were more than a few trying times in the last few months. Those <b>f***-my-life </b> moments are what inspired me to get out of my rut and indulge in life's little pleasures. I even took a break from blogging. I had lots to share, but my motivation was gone and the words just didn't come to me. I spent many nights just staring at the flashing cursor on a blank page. Nada.<br />
<br />
People kept asking if I was still blogging. The answer was always, "Yes, but not right now."<br />
<br />
"Maybe you need more life experiences," said my mom bluntly one afternoon. We were on the phone shooting the breeze when she decided to explain my lack of new posts. <br />
<br />
But she couldn't have been more wrong. In fact, the opposite was true. Since my last post, my life has been nothing but a whirlwind of experiences, weighed down by the sameness of daily family life. It made me tired, left me feeling vulnerable and beat down to the nub. The last thing I wanted was to expose my every thought on the Internet. I was feeling as though I had lost myself, as though I didn't recognize myself as a woman, a wife, a mom. I needed time to find myself before I was ready to share with the world again. <br />
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And yes, lipstick helped. And reading new novels. And writing for money. And actually dating my husband again. Now I'm back, feeling good as new . . . and a little less bored too. <br />
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<br />Valentinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08782207620605649691noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7577799841836184482.post-54934790283365992622014-06-19T08:57:00.001-07:002018-02-12T18:45:31.126-08:00Lesson 17: Breaking up is hard to do.<div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">It's the end of the school year. The weather
is warm, book bags are empty, and students are itching for that last bell to
ring. Parents everywhere are scrambling to write thank-you notes and
deliver gifts to the teachers who worked tirelessly all year. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I am no exception. This time of year is like
the Christmas rush for me. With so many teachers to thank, I end up
spending a week each June shopping for presents, craft supplies and gift cards. This year I made five DIY gifts – one for each of the special ladies
teaching the first grade. I stayed up all night yesterday snipping, gluing,
assembling and wrapping personalized goodies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I groggily packed them into my car this morning,
and delivered them all to school along with some floral arrangements.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My heart ached with each gift and each
goodbye hug I gave out. I left the school heavy-hearted, empty-handed and
alone. It felt like I had just been through a bad break-up. It
always does. The start of summer vacation is bittersweet for me.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">How can you just walk away from a relationship with
someone who has been responsible for your child for 10 months? Given my
son's special needs, I rely on his teachers to be my eyes and ears in the
classroom. They shape him, guide him, advocate for him and help him overcome
his challenges when I can’t. They become my partner, working with me
daily through phone calls, notes and meetings to make sure his needs are met in
order for him to succeed. Then summer arrives, and it's suddenly over. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">The weeks until September are long. Worries
swirl through my head. Will his next teacher be as supportive as the
last? How easily will my son adapt to him/her? Will he/she be
willing to communicate openly with me regarding his progress and needs?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">And when autumn finally rolls around, a new
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slowly fades.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yet the memories of those
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<br /></div>
Valentinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08782207620605649691noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7577799841836184482.post-64462729421888519912014-05-12T09:42:00.000-07:002018-02-12T18:51:18.945-08:00Lesson 15: Don't be ashamed to talk about your post-baby body. <br />
According to most celebrity magazines, I was supposed to bounce back to my "sexy" self only months after giving birth. I mean, Heidi Klum had four kids and she was able to strut the runway just six weeks after giving birth! The truth is, many celebrity moms have probably had some sort of medical intervention to get back their beach-ready bodies. Of course, most of them won't admit it. But who'd want to watch celebrity gossip shows or read tabloid magazines if the women in them were just like the rest of us ordinary folk? <br />
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
A few months into motherhood, I realized I hated my post-pregnancy body. I couldn't get used to the way my stomach looked. Sure, I'd lost the weight, but that didn't help my ripped abdominal wall or floppy belly. My midsection was as deflated and as puckered as a day-old birthday balloon. All that loose skin was not going to miraculously retract. I'd come to the depressing conclusion that my pooch was permanent. Even my doctor admitted no amount of exercise could ever get rid of it. </div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
Until recently, I'd hide my naked body from my husband, finding clever ways to drape sheets and PJ's over my midsection during intimate moments.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
Getting dressed in the morning was draining. Even in the crippling summer heat, I 'd layer a gut-sucking camisole under all my tops to avoid revealing the bulge. Pants were always baggy at the butt because I'd buy a larger size to accommodate the extra skin uncomfortably tucked into my waistband.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
After my showers, I'd longingly poke at the skin and pull it back tight enough to give me a flat stomach, even if only for a few seconds. I wish someone had told me I'd never see my belly button again after 2007. I would have paid more attention to it while it was around.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
I am proud of my body and grateful it gave me two energetic, sweet boys. There are rare moments when I feel beautiful because of all my body has accomplished. Yet the battle scars bruised my self esteem, and I wanted them gone! I've already put my career on hold, sacrificed part of my sanity and given up my full nights' sleep for my family. But I wasn't ready to surrender my body! So, after two years of planning and scrimping, I had a tummy tuck. <br />
<br />
It's been three weeks and I'm still sore and swollen. Nonetheless, even this look is better than my pre-op pizza dough belly. Am I shallow and vain? Some may think so. Yet for the first time in nearly a decade, I feel like my old self again. Goodbye elastic waistband pants and granny panties! Hello jeans, and bathing suits and slim-fit tees. My confidence is growing, and I know I can resume my mommy role with more self-assurance. A happier mommy makes for happier kids. Everyone wins. <br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-LA92xilwm_U/U06__UnPdjI/AAAAAAAAAIY/RHrAUXYzC7Q/s1600/IMG_1354.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-LA92xilwm_U/U06__UnPdjI/AAAAAAAAAIY/RHrAUXYzC7Q/s1600/IMG_1354.jpg" width="241" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Here I am on my honeymoon... with a belly button. </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zo2WbGU1qAw/U07AD70hK6I/AAAAAAAAAIg/pQMSmoL5sAM/s1600/IMG_0107.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zo2WbGU1qAw/U07AD70hK6I/AAAAAAAAAIg/pQMSmoL5sAM/s1600/IMG_0107.jpg" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> Fast forward six years. That same stomach is holding a nine pound baby.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3hTCllbqYK8/U3D1mCMsL2I/AAAAAAAAAI8/btGD5y9iTzI/s1600/IMG_0115.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3hTCllbqYK8/U3D1mCMsL2I/AAAAAAAAAI8/btGD5y9iTzI/s1600/IMG_0115.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Before surgery. Where did you go, belly button?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-UmTbsfMOXz4/U3D2cdVd9XI/AAAAAAAAAJE/iXYjOF3whLw/s1600/IMG_1367.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-UmTbsfMOXz4/U3D2cdVd9XI/AAAAAAAAAJE/iXYjOF3whLw/s1600/IMG_1367.jpg" width="303" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">After surgery. There's a flat tummy under that T-shirt!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
Valentinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08782207620605649691noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7577799841836184482.post-9339672988170586062014-02-26T10:34:00.001-08:002018-02-06T18:36:24.603-08:00Lesson 14: I have more celebrity crushes now than at 13.<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<b><i>This post is dedicated to my husband, my real-life hunk, who didn't think my last post was snarky enough. </i></b><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://www.imdb.com/media/rm808624128/nm0570364?ref_=nmmi_mi_all_sf_35" target="_blank">Joel McHale</a>. <a href="http://www.imdb.com/media/rm1825538816/nm1172478?ref_=nmmi_mi_all_pbl_147" target="_blank">Joel Kinnaman</a>. <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0331516/resumephotos?v=me708742005" target="_blank">Ryan Gosling</a>. <a href="http://www.imdb.com/media/rm907321600/nm1475594?ref_=nmmi_mi_all_sf_10" target="_blank">Channing Tatum</a>. What do these men all have in common? They're hot. They're rich. They're unattainable. Best of all, I'll never have to raise their children or cook and clean for them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-qPvsvguP2Y4/Uw4tF_LB0DI/AAAAAAAAAH8/ORDeaLYUcjg/s1600/meme.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-qPvsvguP2Y4/Uw4tF_LB0DI/AAAAAAAAAH8/ORDeaLYUcjg/s1600/meme.jpg" width="157" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">You see, lately I've been binge watching a lot of TV shows and movies on Netflix while falling in love with the leading men. Why? My theory is simple. The guys on the screen don't ask anything from me. They are simply there to entertain me, to serve as eye candy, and to help me escape to a world where I am their sexy, carefree, childless costar. I'm not alone. The thousands of hunky celebrity meme's on Pinterest prove it. (My favourite is the Gosling "Hey Girl" series).</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Last night, I dreamed I met RoboCop (played by Kinnaman) at Walmart after purchasing milk, toast and Lucky Charms for my kids. He told me he was surprised to run into me. He was worried about me beacuse I hadn't been attending the Spanish class were both enrolled in at a local school. I told him I was busy with mom stuff and couldn't make the class often. </span></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-mIArCXtqgJI/Uw4t3fRi59I/AAAAAAAAAIE/pa8ZCtLYjDw/s1600/joel-kinnaman-robocop-motorcycle-scenes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-mIArCXtqgJI/Uw4t3fRi59I/AAAAAAAAAIE/pa8ZCtLYjDw/s1600/joel-kinnaman-robocop-motorcycle-scenes.jpg" width="200" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">He then went on to say he was he interested in applying for a job at
L'Oreal Canada. He wanted to try a </span>safer line of work. Fighting crime in heavy armour was getting too risky. I admitted I had applied there about 10 years ago, and that it seemed like a great company to work for. RoboCop seemed shocked.</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">"You applied ten years ago?" He asked in disbelief. "You were like what then, 13?" </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I giggled and blushed like a little school girl. RoboCop thought I was only 23! Extra brownie points for him!</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">But what was supposed to turn into an R-rated dream suddenly fizzled out into a G-rated Disney movie, minus all the singing. After RoboCop and I exchanged pleasantries at Walmart, he took me
back to his place. We were only hugging in the bedroom when I began to feel
guilty about cheating on my husband and destroying our family. Not only that, I also felt sorry for RoboCop's real life sweetie, Olivia Munn. I didn't want her to feel jealous of us romping in his fancy apartment. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">And then I woke up to reality. Before I could even get to the bathroom for my morning pee, I heard my kids fighting in the kitchen over who drank their milk the fastest as my husband coaxed my eldest out the door for school. I closed my eyes, trying to conjure up sexy RoboCop again but all I could think of was the pile the laundry and dirty dishes waiting for me downstairs. Ah motherhood. You can never truly escape it. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<!--EndFragment-->Valentinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08782207620605649691noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7577799841836184482.post-18294489758974824852014-02-24T14:44:00.003-08:002018-02-12T18:53:20.509-08:00Lesson 13: How to make a no-sew knight costume <div style="text-align: justify;">
I'm taking a beginner sewing class. It's on Sunday afternoons with the talented quilter and owner of <a href="http://www.deuxpetitessouris.ca/" target="_blank">Deux Petites Souris</a>. My original motivation for enrolling was a desire to escape my family once a week. Learning to operate a sewing machine was an added bonus. </div>
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But after just two classes, I have to say that I'm enjoying sewing more than I thought I would. It is strangely satisfying and addictive to be able to create something with my own two hands. </div>
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Armed with my amateur skills, I set out to make my youngest a simple knight costume this morning. His daycare is hosting a medieval ball on Friday and the children will be dressed as knights, lords and princesses. I have to admit, I did not actually use any needles and thread for this project, but my newly acquired measuring and cutting techniques did come in handy. (In my defence, I don't own a sewing machine yet, nor did I feel confident enough to attempt sewing something without my teacher's supervision!)</div>
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With a little patience, scissors, felt and adhesive, anyone can make this easy tunic and shield. </div>
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I started with a piece of black felt I purchased at the fabric store. My son is tiny, so I cut a 24 by 40 inch rectangle to make the tunic. (It's enough to cover his torso and his bum when finished.) Then I folded the felt in half and cut out a circle to slip his head through. Easy!</div>
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Next I cut a small crest shape onto a grey piece of felt. I used iron-on hem tape to fasten the crest onto the front of the tunic. My son wanted a fierce, yet sparkly lion on his crest. I found a lion image on the web and traced it onto some red glitter felt. Then, I carefully cut it out and used hot glue to attach it to the crest. Why didn't I just iron it on with the hem tape? Well, apparently sparkly felt immediately burns upon contact with high heat. I learned this the hard way when I tried to iron on my lion and melted it to a shriveled clump instead. Wanting to avoid a potential fire, I chose the glue gun on my second attempt. Although, a needle and thread could have worked for this step as well.</div>
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I used foam board for the shield. I cut out the shape I wanted and covered it with silver glitter foam (Yes, my little one is obsessed with glitter.) I cut out red foam strips to make the decorative cross. Last, I added foam letters to spell out his name. Did I mention they had glitter on them? My lord is now ready for his ball...</div>
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Valentinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08782207620605649691noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7577799841836184482.post-85315221783464999852014-01-06T11:26:00.000-08:002018-02-12T18:57:39.133-08:00Lesson 10: Keep up with the times!<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My updated outfit for a girls' night. Simple, but still current. Goodbye yoga gear!</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Happy New Year! What are we up to now? Ah yes, 2014. It takes a while for my brain to register the numerical change. The first few months of the year are the trickiest. I end up goofing the dates on my checks and letters until at least Valentine's Day. (Yes, I still write checks and letters. I'm old school that way.)</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">It's been hard keeping track of real time ever since my eldest was born. Sure, I can count the number of seconds it takes to zap leftovers for dinner, calculate the few minutes of alone time I get in a day, or the hours I don't sleep each night. But when it comes to actually realizing what decade I'm in, I'm sometimes clueless. Lately, I feel like I've just woken up from a seven-year bender and I can't/don't want to remember most of what has happened. As is the case with any hangover, I need copious amounts of coffee, Advil and a good friend to piece together the events leading to my demise. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Being a mom has meant living in an isolated bubble where time is irrelevant. Your life is put on hold while you take care of other mini humans. My life got crazy-busy but time kept ticking. Before I knew it, seven years of my life had disappeared. </span>Here's what I've managed to recall using scrapbooks, iPhone photos and stories from friends:<br />
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<b>January 16, 2007:</b> Snowstorm. Contractions. Lost mucus plug. Hospital. Baby in arms, not womb. That's my last vivid memory of my pre-mom self. That's when the clock stopped, and my life, my hobbies, my job, my thoughts took a backseat.<br />
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<b>January 2007 to June 2007: </b> No sleep. Baby crying. Mom crying. Baby eating. Mom not eating.<br />
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<b>June 2007 to October 2009: </b>New house. No sleeping for anyone. Baby turns into toddler. Toddler takes eight months to potty train. Mom forgets how hard having a baby is. Mom gets pregnant again.<br />
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<b>November 2009 to January 2010: </b> Mom has baby number two. C-section gone wrong. Infection. Long recovery. Toddler not sleeping. Baby not sleeping. Mom and dad definitely not sleeping.<br />
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<b>February 2010 to Present:</b> Several birthday parties involving Lego and superheroes. Some road trips. A family vacation. First day of pre-school. First day of school. Some recitals. Swimming, karate and hockey lessons. Husband lost hair. Mom's hair went from brown to blonde to red to brown. Mom lost weight, but it seems to be finding its way back. Life gets a little quieter with kids being older now. Mom feels lost.</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Now that the kids are school-aged and less dependent, I have emerged from the bubble and feel a little passé. I am left wearing the same old sweats, following the same old routine, eating the same old foods, thinking the same old thoughts. The real world has moved on. It's fast paced and I've missed a lot. People are talking differently, dressing differently and using awesome technology, among other things. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />Trying to keep up with all these changes after being oblivious to them for so long can be a challenge. I think I've got the fashion thing down. I Pinterest fashion ideas and then try to recreate them via the magic of Internet shopping. I'm no Kim Kardashian but at least I've moved on from yoga pants and sweats. I've learned to binge watch TV series. It's actually helped save my marriage. You can't argue about money and chores while your crapping your pants watching Daryl Dixon beheading zombies. (Thanks Netflix!) I've been trying to tweet but still don't have the hang of it. Maybe I should take more selfies? My head says "yes" but my double chin says "no".</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">My point is, there's a whole new world I need to discover. I don't want to become a frumpy, old fashioned mom. I don't ever want my boys to be embarrassed to be seen with me. If nothing else, I want them to feel they can confide in me and ask me for advice. I think they'll be more comfortable talking to me if I can understand how things work in the modern world. <br /><br />So, no more sheltered life for me. I'm going to embrace all that's out there from now on. I vow to wear the right cut of jeans. I will join at least three forms of social media. I will learn the urban dictionary, or at least refer to it occasionally. It will be epic or exhausting. I can't decide. Perhaps I should just start with getting the date right. </span><br />
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Valentinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08782207620605649691noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7577799841836184482.post-30728134645353936012013-12-20T16:05:00.000-08:002013-12-22T06:44:06.689-08:00Lesson 9: Don't sweat the holidays.<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i> Twas five days before Xmas and all through the
house,</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i> No kids were fighting or making a fuss.
</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i> My presents were wrapped and placed under the
tree, </i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i> School was now done until January. </i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i> All snuggled in blankies were the boys on the
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i> So, over my Macbook I tried to slouch.</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 7.1pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i> It was mama's time to blog and I put on my thinking
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i> Cause this was the closest my kids would ever get
to a nap.
</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> Between having my youngest home full time and
holiday prep, I've barely had time to shower on a regular basis, let alone post
any new blogs. At this very moment, I am "watching" old
Looney Tunes Christmas shows with the kids and hoping they'll stay quiet
long enough for me to finish this post. All I have to do is nod when they
address me, then I answer "we'll see" to every question they ask.
It gives them the illusion that I am actually paying attention while
buying myself precious minutes to write. Hey, at least I'm sitting with
them. That's got to count for something, right?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=7577799841836184482" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=7577799841836184482" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=7577799841836184482" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> I haven't exactly been in the Christmas spirit
lately. My mind has been preoccupied with M's new diagnosis, my break up
with Z's daycare, and a badly-timed basement/playroom reorg that I can't seem
to finish. I hurriedly did all my shopping online last week and managed
to toss the three dozen presents into overpriced gift bags. (There was no
time to waste on paper, tape or ribbon.) I spent a whole day handwriting
Christmas cards and cursing myself for not sending holiday cheer via email
instead. Plus, my lopsided tree looks like it could use a makeover.
I guess you could call it shabby chic. OK, maybe just shabby.
I contemplated leaving it bare until my kids made me feel like a grinch
Tuesday night. Blame it on fatigue, the abnormally bad weather, or my
busy calendar, but Christmas was starting to feel like such a chore this year.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=7577799841836184482" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=7577799841836184482" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=7577799841836184482" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> This afternoon, I stood folding a daunting pile of laundry, wondering
how so many socks manage to disappear into the washing machine's Bermuda
Triangle. I quickly grew bored and flicked on the TV for some company.
House Hunters International? Yes, please! A commercial came
on soon after and grabbed my attention. It was a holiday ad for Apple
called <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImlmVqH_5HM"><span style="color: #0000f5;">Misunderstood</span></a>. If you haven't seen it
yet, you can click play on the video above to watch. It shows a teenage
boy glued to his iPhone throughout his family's holiday vacation. He
seems disengaged and uninterested by the festivities and his relatives.
Then, on Christmas morning he reveals that he has actually been filming and
editing all the special moments. It was really touching. I cried.
(Nothing new these days!) At that moment I remembered that Christmas
should not feel like a burden or a chore. Christmas is not about beautiful
trees, perfect presents, timely picture cards or gourmet homemade gingerbread
cookies. The holidays are about appreciating and enjoying the little
moments in life with your loved ones: breakfast in our p.j.'s, playing in the
snow, watching a Muppet Christmas for the fifteith time, hearing my parents'
laughter as they play with their grandkids, reminiscing with my sister about
Christmas shows we used to put on for our relatives. Simplicity is what
the holidays are about.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> So from my family to yours, I wish you a holiday
brimming with thousands of happy little moments. xoxo<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i><b><span style="color: #242424;">“Happy Christmas to all, and to all
a good night!” (<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clement_Clarke_Moore"><span style="color: #00008f; text-decoration: none;">Clement Clarke Moore</span></a></span>)</b></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--EndFragment-->Valentinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08782207620605649691noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7577799841836184482.post-74220427401470058812013-12-09T08:55:00.001-08:002013-12-09T08:55:16.837-08:00Lesson 8: Make a date with yourself.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">It's officially winter and I've got the blues. I woke up this morning to blowing snow. It had taken over the neighbourhood overnight. All I could make out from my bedroom window were white outlines of cars and roofs. Everything outside was buried in the fluffy stuff. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Winter makes me feel trapped. The big snow banks looming by the side of the road induce claustrophobia. The kids' soggy mitts, hats and boots piled in my shoebox sized mudroom make puddles on the floor, which inevitably leave us with wet socks and cold feet. Going anywhere requires an extra 15 minutes because I have to shovel out the driveway then brush off snow from my car before attempting to carefully pull out onto the road. I won't even mention the battle to get the boys into their snow suits. But I guess it doesn't really matter these days because I've got nowhere to go now that Z is home full time. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Last week I suffered a traumatic break up with my little one's preschool. After months of unresolved complaints, I had no choice but to pull him out. So he's home with me... 24/7. My precious three days of quiet are suddenly gone and it's wearing me down. As I'm trying to write this blog, he's yelling out for more M&M's. Note to self: 20 M&M's only buy you 12 minutes of peace and quite. Next time double the amount.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I had a taste of freedom for the last year and a half. I had a few days a week to post my blogs, to start planning my freelance business, to do some projects around the house, and to just have some quiet time to think. Those days are no more</span>. I seem to be back to full time mommy mode. If I'm lucky, I get to sneak in a couple of minutes of me time on the toilet... although the broken lock on the door often causes a problem. <br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6d-8EAEJldk/UqXyxaiRqwI/AAAAAAAAAEc/L-LQUP3DAPk/s1600/Date+Night.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6d-8EAEJldk/UqXyxaiRqwI/AAAAAAAAAEc/L-LQUP3DAPk/s1600/Date+Night.jpg" /></span></a><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6d-8EAEJldk/UqXyxaiRqwI/AAAAAAAAAEc/L-LQUP3DAPk/s1600/Date+Night.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I keep thinking about the movie <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1279935/"><span id="goog_879666923"></span>Date Night<span id="goog_879666924"></span></a>, where Tina Fey tells on-screen husband Steve Carell that her biggest fantasy is <span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px;">to spend time in a room alone, where she wouldn’t be bothered by anyone's demands. Although it doesn't always seem feasible, isn't that what all mom's want at some point or another?</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">So why not make it happen? I think I will start making dates with myself. If I can't get away while the sun is up, then I will wait until Mr. Sandman has paid the kiddos a visit. Once a week, I will take myself out. Think of the possibilities: the movies, the book store, the coffee shop... even the mall! And when the weather has me bummed and housebound, my iPad or a good book will do just fine. </span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I'd love to hear about any original "me" dates you ladies have been on lately. Send me your pics and a brief description and I may just post your ideas on my next blog! And don't forget to share my posts with your friends or sign up to follow me online. </span></span><br />
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Valentinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08782207620605649691noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7577799841836184482.post-57056564690843924912013-11-28T09:42:00.001-08:002013-11-28T09:42:11.887-08:00Lesson 7: Don't forget to pat yourself on the back.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Update! In last week's post, I ranted about the sugarless birthday policy at my son's preschool. Most of you agreed that having a birthday with no cake is a sacrilege. Yet I was forbidden from bringing anything other than fruit or yogurt for Z </i><i>to share with his classmates</i><i> on his special day . So I complied and brought in fruit and yogurt... sort of. I mean, the really yummy mini cheesecakes I made contained some fruit and yogurt, along with lots of cream cheese, gelatin and graham cracker crumbs. Of course, I didn't divulge the real recipe to anyone at preschool for fear of having my cheesecakes banished. Instead, I told an itsy bitsy lie. I said the graham cracker crust was crushed All Bran mixed with spices and I didn't even mention the gelatin or the two pounds of Philadelphia. I felt like a drug mule smuggling in some powder from south of the border. I was sweating and shaking as I handed over the goods to teachers. But they bought it! And the kids loved every morsel. Victory is sweet.</i></span><div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Now back to the lesson. My husband and I had a meeting at M's school yesterday to discuss his IEP. M is in first grade and has <a href="http://www.spdfoundation.net/about-sensory-processing-disorder.html" target="_blank">sensory processing disorder </a> which means he needs a little extra help to get him through a long day of school. We sat down with his homeroom teacher, resource teacher as well as the principal to go over strategies that will help him become a more successful and well adjusted student. Although I was stressed going in, it was a great meeting and I was elated to discover that M is surrounded by such supportive individuals. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Being a parent of a special needs kid is tough. There is a lot of guilt involved ("Is it my fault he has these issues?") and there is a feeling that if you keep looking hard enough, you can find that magic cure to make your kid "normal". So you don't ever stop thinking about the next kind of therapy you can try, or the next specialist you can visit. It becomes consuming. And it's never enough because, if you stop worrying about your special needs child, then it's like you are giving up or giving in. And I don't want to admit defeat. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Obviously, I sometimes I feel like an inadequate mom. At the end of everyday, I reflect about all the things I could have done differently. I rarely take time to highlight the really good things I've done for my children. This critical internal dialogue goes on day after day. I'm my own bully. Trust me, she can be a mean bitch. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">M and I were talking after school yesterday and he said something that made me want to stand up to my cruel self. "You came to visit Mrs. I today. You know, my teacher said I have really nice parents. She said you guys help me a lot and let me express how I feel. She thinks I'm a lucky boy. I am lucky, mom," he blurted as he looked me straight in the eye. We hugged. I teared up, and at that moment I realized I have been too hard on myself. Here was this brilliant, happy, insightful little boy telling me he loved me and his dad unconditionally. Sure we've screwed up at times, but we have succeeded in making our kids feel special and loved. Now that deserves some praise. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I resolve to give the bullying the boot, and I challenge my fellow mommies to do the same. Be your own cheerleader. Give yourself a pat on the back each day for a job well done. I've earned it, and so have you.</span></div>
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Valentinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08782207620605649691noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7577799841836184482.post-76341767342817245452013-11-20T12:15:00.000-08:002013-11-20T12:22:47.766-08:00Lesson 6: Give your kids sugar. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Someone call child protective services. I feed my kids sugar. Gasp!</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I put sugar in the sweets I bake for my boys. I buy Lucky Charms and let them pick out the marshmallow shapes. We have ice cream for dessert at least once a week, smothered in chocolate sauce. After school, we sit around the table and dunk Oreos in milk while we talk about our day. I stash chocolate bars in the pantry and use them as bribes to get my boys to a doctor's appointment when reasoning doesn't work. And damn it, I love having cake with gooey frosting on birthdays... with a scoop of vanilla on the side! </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">My son is turning four next Tuesday. This morning I asked his preschool if I could bake something for his class to celebrate. I know they have a heath food policy in place so I didn't suggest chocolate cupcakes, my usual birthday go-to. But I figured an apple pie, oatmeal raisin muffins or even banana bread would be fine. After a whole 10 minutes trying to plead my case, I was politely informed that the only thing I could bring in was fruit skewers or yogurt. My jaw dropped. Pardon my French, but what the FUCK? Who blows candles off a fucking fruit kabob? How blah. How pretentious. I was pissed. I'm sorry, but kids should eat cake on their birthday. It's tradition! Why are we obsessed with feeding our children low fat, low carb, low sodium, no sugar everything? Why does their food have to be organic and all natural. Hell, let's make eating totally boring and just give them vitamin supplements instead of real meals. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Call me crazy, call me old-fashioned, but I think every kid deserves a little sugar now and then. It tastes good, it makes everyone happy and it doesn't hurt anyone. Our family exercises and eats balanced meals and snacks. We are not overweight or diabetic. We have a sweet tooth which we indulge, in moderation. No one has grown a third arm from it yet. Even my dentist condones the sweet stuff, so long as the kids brush their teeth twice a day. </span><br />
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When did sugar become so taboo? My generation grew up on the stuff, along with hot dogs, Nutella and so much Lipton Soup it's a miracle our skin didn't permanently yellow from the salty bouillon. We all turned out all right. <br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">So let's all loosen up and let them eat cake! </span><br />
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What do you think I should bring in next week? Should I smuggle in some good stuff? Do you have any sugar free cake recipes? HELP!<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hTLLHvxms2E/Uo0Q1c-W5VI/AAAAAAAAAD8/v1oGZ7iy8bs/s1600/fruit+kabob.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="239" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hTLLHvxms2E/Uo0Q1c-W5VI/AAAAAAAAAD8/v1oGZ7iy8bs/s320/fruit+kabob.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">Happy Birthday! Have a fruit skewer kids. Mommy ate all the cake. </span></div>
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<br />Valentinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08782207620605649691noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7577799841836184482.post-36433234725180008212013-11-12T09:34:00.000-08:002013-11-28T07:51:31.457-08:00Lesson 5: Kids will spread disease and nits faster than pigeons.<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Anyone in my inner circle knows I am a complete
germaphobe and suffer from anxiety. As you can imagine, being a mom to
two young boys can often gross me out. And with flu season right around
the corner, I am on high alert. I've stocked hand sanitizer, Lysol wipes,
disposable gloves and every flavour of fever medication. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Every September, my mommy friends and I dread back-to-school for two reasons: gastro and head lice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Last year, my oldest caught gastro three times
within six months. And guess what? No one in this house went
unscathed. That shit (no pun intended) spreads like wildfire. No amount of Lysol or bleach saved us. Why? Because kids have absolutely no sense of timing or aim when it comes to puking
and crapping their pants. They pooped and barfed on every square inch of
this house... except for the toilet!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Our elementary school sends home a note about lice each fall.
They advise parents check their children's heads for nits at least once
a week. Every Friday night I turn in to a friggin mama chimpanzee.
I put on rubber gloves, stick my kids in the bath and search through
their hair with a fine-toothed comb. Any time they scratch their heads I jump on them and inspect
their scalps like the CDC would jump on a sick chicken during a deadly bird flu
outbreak. Just the thought of these teeny tiny creepy crawlies makes me itch all over. What's worse than the itching is that lice are a giant
pain to get rid of.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Let's be honest here. Kids are pretty
disgusting. They may look cute and sweet, but I assure you they are
disease ridden. I had an inkling this was the case way before I had kids.
I'd see them at the park or at the grocery store. They almost
always had snot dried up under their nose, dirty fingers or weird crust caught
in their tangled manes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But now that
I've caught almost every documented communicable illness from my own boys, it's clear I didn't understand to what extent children
could be a health hazard.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Fact: Children are vessels for germs and bacteria.
(I read an entire chapter on the subject in one of those parenting books childless friends like to give expectant moms.) Here's the proof.
For some reason, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>kids like to lick
things that shouldn't be licked. My oldest's tongue is strangely
attracted to everything from bank machine keypads to elevator buttons.
But give him some grapes and he'll suddenly dry heave. Preschoolers
enjoy sharing sippy cups at playgroups with the most mucousy children in
attendance. Boys and girls alike can't keep their hands to themselves in
public washrooms. They are obsessed with touching every toilet seat and
used paper towel. And sometimes- I speak from experience- kids like to
fish out turd from their BabyBjorn potty and bring it to you as your cooking to prove they've gone
poo-poo like a big boy. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-r-NVfcTuTHE/UoJlYBk6ffI/AAAAAAAAADs/Uc_gKYly8G8/s1600/rash+.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="239" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-r-NVfcTuTHE/UoJlYBk6ffI/AAAAAAAAADs/Uc_gKYly8G8/s320/rash+.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">My unexplained rash this summer. It spread all over my back. Could my children have been the cause? Probably!</span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Clearly, I know what I'm talking about. Based
on my experience, I've come up with some practical advice for parents to stay
healthy. Here are some tips to keep those viruses, bugs and diseases at bay:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">• Wash your hands frequently. You get
used to the chapped, stinging skin after a while.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">• Always carry hand sanitizer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">• Never eat the icing on a kid's
birthday cake. Chances are the birthday boy or girl, and all the underage
guests, unintentionally spit on the cake while blowing out the candles.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">• Don't sniff any unidentified hard
or dried out matter on the floors or walls of your home. I can tell you
from experience that it's probably poop. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">• Don't share a tube of toothpaste
with your little ones... it's most likely been up a nose or for a dip in the
toilet. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">• Never eat from your child's
plate... you don't know where that mouth has been.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">• During a bout of gastro, line the
beds and sofas with plastic. It makes them easier to clean.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">•
Keep your distance. You can love your kids from afar. </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment--></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I'd like to know if you have any tips for keeping your household
healthy. Also, let me know your grossest kid stories. Thanks for
sharing!</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Valentinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08782207620605649691noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7577799841836184482.post-43073341771342088322013-10-25T14:22:00.000-07:002013-10-25T14:43:56.754-07:00Lesson 4: Take the mom hat off and let your hair down now and then<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Last night I went clubbing. (Do they still call it that?) That's right. I went dancing. On a week night. For fun. For me. It was exhilarating and liberating. </span><br />
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I've been so bogged down with chores, chauffeuring, cleaning, cuddling and cooing that I forgot how fun I could be. Buried deep under my stretched out tummy and softening boobs is a girl I once knew. She's funny, outgoing and loves dancing. She laughs a lot, talks too loud and never worries about how many calories are in her mixed drink. I LOVE this carefree girl. For a few brief hours last night, I was the old me again (give or take a few extra wrinkles and pounds). </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I got a glimpse of my old self while I was driving my son to preschool a few weeks ago. The radio announcer was talking about an upcoming event at a local club. The club was hosting a launch party for the 2014 sexy firemen calendar. The firemen would be there as entertainment. Proceeds from ticket and calendar sales would go to major burn victims' charities. Well, what girl could pass up seeing some hunky firemen in the flesh? And for a good cause? Count me in! </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">My sister and cousin were my posse last night. They are both childless and I envy their freedom. I figured some of their "cool" might rub off on me since I'm a bit rusty when it comes to the night scene. I ditched the cotton Hanes from Walmart and bought some good underwear. I even found a trendy top at Forever 21. I felt like a confident woman again. Once there, we ogled, danced and had a couple of cocktails. It was just prefect.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I didn't get my usual full night's sleep, but I wasn't tired at all this morning. Actually, I felt happier and more energized than I have in years. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">So I guess every once in a while, a girl's gotta let loose, right? Sometimes I forget that I'm allowed to be me and not just "mommy". There aren't any laws against mothers having some clean adult fun. So ladies... call the sitter, grab those heels, wrestle on those Spanx. It's time to hit the town this weekend.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ptCqoOm8pwQ/Umrd63QE-MI/AAAAAAAAADE/z9xkiu01ezE/s1600/IMG_1052.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ptCqoOm8pwQ/Umrd63QE-MI/AAAAAAAAADE/z9xkiu01ezE/s320/IMG_1052.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;">Two of twelve firemen shakin' their stuff for the ladies and a good cause</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Valentinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08782207620605649691noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7577799841836184482.post-78564841420511255152013-10-08T12:47:00.002-07:002013-10-25T14:40:50.743-07:00Lesson 3: Blame it on the full moon<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I'm not a superstitious person. I don't follow astrology. I definitely don't believe the phases of the moon or cosmic showers affect our moods. Yet some days my kids' behaviour is so erratic, out of character and down-right embarrassing that I'm left blaming it on the good old full moon.</span></div>
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<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Example 1:</span></div>
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<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">After a particularly rowdy day at preschool, the educator sometimes shrugs and says to each parent as they arrive for pick-up, "I don't know what happened today. <i><b>All</b></i> the children were really hyper!" I usually smile then and tell her it must be a full moon. Then everyone nods in agreement and chuckles.</span></div>
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<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">
Example 2:</span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Children have nightmares. Mine are no exception. Trashing and screaming is involved. No one sleeps. It's standard stuff. Inexplicably, there are rare times when both my sons have bad dreams during the same night. Double the thrashing. Double the screaming. Still zero sleep. These nights are brutal, and have me wishing caffeine I.V.'s existed. "The full moon must be around the corner," I mumble to my husband through half open eyes the morning after those episodes.</span></div>
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<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">So maybe these two examples don't illustrate atrocious behaviour. The full moon cop-out is acceptable, even humorous, in those types of situations. But yesterday I used it as a scapegoat when I was informed my oldest (M) had been sent to the principal's office for disrespecting the teacher and vandalizing school property. He's in first grade.</span></div>
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</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
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<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I don't want to make excuses for him, but we've known for two years that he has sensory issues. (Visit <span style="color: blue; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;">http://www.spdfoundation.net/about-sensory-</span><span style="line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">processing-disorder.html</span> </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;">for more info.) </span><span style="line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;">This can </span>make adjusting to school life difficult. Similarly he's been flagged for learning disabilities. He is being followed on our end, and the school's end, by several specialists and doctors. He was doing wonderfully, until three weeks ago. I started receiving several notes from his teachers. M had been skipping class, hiding in the bathroom, talking back, writing on desks and losing his books. Yesterday, his homeroom teacher gave up on the notes and called me. My heart sank when I found out she had sent him to the office. We both agreed we were doing all we could to keep M on track, but that things we getting out of control. Neither of us could think of a plausible reason for this sudden behaviour change. He was always such a polite and respectful boy, despite his difficulties.</span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<br /></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">As a mom, I feel guilty. Maybe something is going on in his 6- year-old head and heart that I can't understand. I've exhausted every avenue trying to figure out how to curb this change in attitude and get him back on track. I'm clueless. So when a friend of mine texted me a link to an astrology web page explaining how the recent "October monster moon" was causing havoc here on earth, I breathed sigh of relief. Maybe there are things out of my control. Maybe M is just of victim of the moon's mystical pull. </span></div>
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<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">According to the astrology article, this cosmic storm will pass at the end of the month. Maybe things will go back to normal then. Or better yet, maybe some extra terrestrials will have pity on me and beam me up to their planet until this whole thing blows over.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">To be continued...</span></div>
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<span style="color: #353535;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Before I became a mom, a beautiful Sunday in autumn meant heading north to a picturesque ski village. During the relaxing drive up, I'd admire the changing colours of the leaves on the trees lining the hillside. My hubby and I would park the car at the end of the town’s main road and stroll its entire length while window-shopping. We'd ooh and aah at the rustic fall decor each quaint shop so meticulously displayed to attract tourists. Sometimes we'd even stop in a store to buy a kitschy sculpture or knick-knack. After a few hours, our faces flushed from the late afternoon sun, we'd stop at the local coffee house for a big cup of tea or a latté and a scrumptious pastry. “La vie est belle,” the locals say. Yes, life was beautiful then. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #353535;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Perhaps feeling a little nostalgic, and very adventurous, I announced to my husband this fine Sunday morning that we should take the kids up north and spend the afternoon there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It would be like the good old days, but better because we’d have our sons to share it with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #353535;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">"I think it will be nice. It's such a gorgeous day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The kids will enjoy it,” I told my spouse as he gathered Lego bits off the floor and I changed snot-encrusted bed sheets. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #353535;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">"Sure, we can go," he replied matter-of-factly. “But it won't play out the way you've imagined it."<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #353535;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">"I don't have any expectations," I lied. "I just think we all need to get out of here to change the routine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Plus, it'll be better than staying home." <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #353535;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Of course, it wasn't. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I regretted the decision to venture further than our usual fifteen kilometer radius the second we hit the highway. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #353535;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">12:05 p.m.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #353535;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">My much-anticipated relaxing drive was anything but.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The usual “are we there yet” phrase polluted the air just minutes into the trip.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Over and over, my eldest (M) kept asking for ETA’s.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Any trip that is longer than five minutes is too long for him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So his incessant nagging didn’t get under my skin too much because I’m pretty used to it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #353535;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">12:15 p.m.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #353535;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I was able to distract both my kids with a book, which I keep in the car for longer drives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>M, who is learning how to read, decided he’d read aloud to his little brother (Z).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sounds nice, right?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wrong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He purposely changed words on each page to make the story silly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Z hated this and started yelling at M to read the story the right way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A screaming match ensued, followed by a wrestling match during which the book was thrown back and forth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At this point I took the book away and looked for distractions outside.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #353535;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">12:34 p.m.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #353535;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">“Look boys!” I exclaimed, trying to sound cheerful as we headed up the hillside.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“See all the trees and colorful leaves?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Isn’t it pretty?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #353535;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">“Whatever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mom, we need a TV in here,” said M unimpressed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Z was similarly blasé.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #353535;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I kept looking out the window, intent on enjoying the view, even if no one else seemed to care.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That lasted all of three minutes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #353535;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">12:42 p.m.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #353535;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">My gazing was startled by some more wrestling, screaming and loud crash followed by crying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I turned around to find M and Z had fought.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Z won this time. (He’s only half his brother’s size but he packs a good punch, which I credit to his obsession with the Avengers cartoons.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As payback for ruining his story earlier, Z had tossed the hardcover book at M and hit him in the mouth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Blood poured from his split lip.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I disciplined Z, stopped the bleeding and consoled M all from the confines of the front seat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everyone calmed down, though hubby never even flinched.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was focused on getting get us to our destination as fast as possible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #353535;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">12:53 p.m.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #353535;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Everyone wanted out of the car.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Especially M, who shortly after the lip incident announced that he was about the puke.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not wanting to clean vomit out of the car for the umpteenth time in a year, we quickly pulled over. I jumped out along with M.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A few deep breaths and a cold juice box later, we were back on the road.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Luckily only five minutes to go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #353535;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">12:58 p.m.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #353535;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Needless to say, parking was a relief… until we pulled Z out of his car seat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’ll be four in November and has been potty trained since age two.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As luck would have it, he chose that moment to pee his pants.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The right leg of his jeans was soaked and I had no change of clothes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had recently stopped bringing extra outfits with me because he never had any accidents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So he kept his wet pants on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #353535;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">“The sun will dry it mommy,” he reassured me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We had to keep moving.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We had made it this far and we weren’t turning back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My turn for deep breaths. I hoped the day would go more smoothly now that we were stretching our legs and enjoying some fresh air.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #353535;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">The village looked the same as I remembered.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I pointed out some landmarks to the kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They liked that there were pumpkins and scarecrows by each storefront.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I began to relax.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We stopped for some ice cream.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Z took two bites before announcing he had to poop.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is usually constipated but for some reason he ALWAYS has to go when we are in a public place.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s his thing. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The café next door let us use their bathroom but only after we purchased some food and a beverage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Despite the urgency of the situation, the employee (obviously childless) had my husband wait in a long line to make his purchase.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Six dollars and two macaroons later, my husband and Z were allowed into the stench-filled toilet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After lining the seat with an entire roll of toilet paper, Z announced that he didn’t have to go anymore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>During this ordeal, I waited outdoors with M.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were walking along when he decided he had to poop too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We found a sign for a port –a-potty and ran straight for it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was three blocks away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Panting as we finally reached the door, he also decided it was a false alarm.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #353535;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">1:40 p.m.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #353535;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I texted my husband my location.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>M was shouting he wanted to go home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I found a bench and plopped down defeated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I waited for the other half of my family to rejoin us, I enviously watched the dozens of happy-go-lucky couples and smiling families as they took in the village sights and sounds.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was disappointed and upset that this did not turn out to be the leisurely afternoon I had imagined. When we are all reunited, we unanimously decided to head back home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’d had enough. Total time spent in the village: forty-five minutes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #353535;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Maybe outings like this will get easier when the kids are a little older.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Until then I prefer to handle the fighting, vomiting, whining and countless spontaneous poops within the comfort of my own home. Next time I want to escape, I’ll get a sitter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<!--EndFragment-->Valentinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08782207620605649691noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7577799841836184482.post-88193853764633724772013-09-25T10:10:00.001-07:002013-10-25T14:42:11.990-07:00Lesson 1: It's OK to hide from the the kids sometimes.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I'm not ashamed to admit it. I sometimes hide from my kids. OK, maybe not in the hide-and-seek sense of the word, but I often take cover in child-free parts of my home to avoid being harassed. Let me explain. I am the only female in the house. I live with my two sweet but very loud and talkative boys (six and three), and my hubby. As is the case in most households, someone always seems to need something from mom. If I'm not prepping a meal, wiping a butt or picking up miscellaneous crusty goop off the floor, then I am being called on to find the tiniest missing Lego piece, help with homework or dish out fashion advice to a colour blind man.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I love my family, but being a stay-at-home mom means I'm always on-call and I rarely get quiet time. So sometimes I'll tuck myself away in the laundry room for longer than is necessary to wash even the dirtiest of clothes. Having Ryan Gosling posters over my washer and dryer makes my time there rather enjoyable. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Other times I'll go about my day as quietly as possible. I've come to the conclusion that kids are kind of like zombies in the Walking Dead. In the world of modern TV zombies, loud sounds attract the living dead. Only the quiet go undisturbed and in turn, uneaten. My kids aren't literally flesh-eating walkers (although they do sound like them when they whine) but the same conditions apply to my boys. If I'm silent enough around the house my sons almost forget I'm around and leave me alone for a while.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">As you've probably guessed, I'm not a perfect, cardigan-wearing mom who never complains about her children and keeps her cool at all costs. I <i>wish</i> I was one of those moms. I've <i>tried</i> to be one of those moms. It's not in my genes, and cardies don't flatter my petite torso. I lose my temper, I bribe my kids with jellybeans, I let them play way too many video games, and I sometimes fantasize about running away and changing my name. Despite these flaws, I'm a good mom who learns from her countless mistakes and tries to be better everyday. My kids are the best thing that ever happened to me. They constantly teach me something new about myself and about life. I hope you'll join me as I share my silly take on life with kids and the lessons I learn along the way. </span></div>
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Valentinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08782207620605649691noreply@blogger.com2